CD Baby, our online distributor, asked for bands to submit an entertaining story for a contest they were running last month. I submitted something, but even though it was good enough for an honorable mention, it wasn’t quite as crazy as the winner’s story. Anyway, I didn’t want it to go to waste, so here it is!
The Show on Someone’s Front Porch
How an awful gig gave a band a reason for existing
Before it’s existence as a full-blown folk rock band, The Historic was an acoustic duo consisting of Tim Spiegel and me, Phil Rohrer. We had both been in various bands in the past, but during the time period when the following events transpired, The Historic was our new musical endeavor. We were still trying to find our place in the southeastern Pennsylvania music landscape, and as a result, we were taking most of the shows that were offered to us. This attitude toward booking opened up a lot of opportunities for us, but also occasionally led us into some regrettable situations.
One such situation transpired after I received a show offer from a respected local slide guitar player. This veteran of the music world asked us if we’d be interested in playing a show that he was organizing in his hometown, which was somewhere northwest of us in the Appalachian Mountains. Out of respect for our musical elder, we accepted without asking many questions.
The day of the show arrived and we made the hour and a half journey deep into the wilderness of Pennsylvania to the mystery gig. When we reached our destination, we had a little trouble entering town due to a town-wide classic car show. We navigated around a few road blocks and found the address we had been given. It was a small two-story house on the edge of town. The old white siding and rotting front porch definitely had character, but there was no question that the house was a private residence and not a venue. We tried to stay positive as we spotted our slide guitar playing friend amidst a gathering crowd of elderly town folk with lawn chairs in hand, coming to claim their places on the sidewalk in front of the house. Our friend exchanged pleasantries with us, and then began to assemble a small sound system on the front porch of the dilapidated dwelling, confirming our fears. We knew we were in for a long afternoon.
When the predetermined time came, we began our set. We played song after song, trying to find a way to connect with our aged audience. However, playing well didn’t really seem to do the trick, so we found ourselves trying to appeal to their grandmotherly and grandfatherly instincts. We were on our best behavior, trying our hardest to come off as “nice young men”. This went on for what seemed like hours, but considering our lack of material, in reality it couldn’t have been more than forty-five minutes or so. Another factor that didn’t make time pass any faster were the bugs. Apparently the vibrations from our guitars woke them from their slumber under the rotting floorboards of our makeshift stage. Thankfully, one of our more merciful audience members went back to his house and got us insect repellent halfway through the set.
Eventually, the show came to an end and our audience folded up their chairs, preparing to begin their slow shuffle back toward their respective homes. One or two polite ladies told us our music was nice. However, we were well aware that we had just finished playing music inspired by Bob Dylan in front of an audience that preferred Bing Crosby. We packed up our gear, exchanging jokes about the absurd situation under our breath to help ease the awkwardness. That’s when a voice from down the street caught my attention.
A traffic cop was manning the road block at the end of the street, twenty or so yards from the house where we had just finished playing. She was yelling to me, attempting to get my attention without leaving her post. After hearing her, I walked toward her to find out what was going on. She proceeded to tell me how grateful she was that she was stationed at that particular roadblock, within earshot of our performance. Apparently, her best friend had passed away earlier that week, and as a result, she had been very depressed and overwhelmed with her loss. However, she told me that listening to us perform had somehow made her happy for the first time in days. She didn’t explain why, and to this day, I still don’t really understand what we could have said or done to have that effect on her. In that instant though, through the words of a stranger that wasn’t even attending our concert by choice, all of the time and effort we put into our art became worthwhile. As a result, what started as a day I thought I would be eager to forget became a memory that drives our musical pursuits onward, in hopes of having the same effect on a wider audience of people.